The Bleeding Blue

_________________________________________________________________

((I am a procrastinator))

_________________________________________________________________

Those who know me will agree to this

Why? Because

I’ve been meaning to write this post for so (so) long

But the conviction to do so always seems to escape me

 

Tonight though,

I am not a procrastinator

Why? Maybe it’s the weather,

because it just rained awhile ago

and it’s cold as fuck

here in S*******

 

maybe it’s just me

or is it the same there?

at your place

in J******/D****

 

_________________________________________________________________

((I am forgetful))

_________________________________________________________________

I forgot

did it rain that day?

The day I went to see you?

 

Yeah, I think it did

 

You know,

this sounds cliche, but

those 6 months really do feel

like such a long time ago now

 

A bubble of time

suspended in the air

 

Or a wildflower

from which through its flipping petals

I can see

all the possibilities

of the path we took together

 

_________________________________________________________________

((I am learning))

_________________________________________________________________

For better or for worse

you taught me

that sometimes

our biggest fears, they

do come true

 

and that

for all our wishing and longing

and countless sleepless nights

whether alone or in embrace :

 

the universe,

the planets,

the people,

the white clouds,

and the moon that we used to share, they

always seem to move on

 

_________________________________________________________________

Right now,

I’m trudging

day by day

through this swamp and haze

I made through my mistakes

 

But don’t worry

I’ll make sure not to sully

the bleeding blue

I got from you

(I’ll dust them everyday)

 

I’ll let everyone see

how beautiful it is

the bleeding blue

I got from you

(I’ll wear them proudly on my sleeve)

 

It’s hard to only remember the good times

so I won’t even try

You shouldn’t as well,

because I won’t let you

 

If I have one regret

It’s that

I wasn’t able to mend

the bleeding blue

you gave yourself

 

 

And I think that’s all

 

 

 

_________________________________________________________________

Hi.

I’m Rama

I hope I never have to write something like this again

this will be the last time

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